Battling The Weight

Since December, 2010 I have been attending Weight Watcher's meetings.  It isn't anything new because this is the third attempt on trying to get down to a decent body weight.   Like many adults, I have had weight issues since the birth of my youngest son.  He is now 11.  It all started with a pregnancy in my late thirties, and adding to that quitting a package and a half cigarette habit just before the pregnancy and then after the birth of my son I mysteriously gained thirty pounds in a matter of three months.  That is when it was discovered that I had hypothyroidism.  To treat hypothyroidism, I was prescribed Synthroid, which is a synthetic drug.   So what is my excuse for being overweight now?  Well my metabolism has slowed down considerably and I am an emotional eater.  The first attempt to get the weight off was in 2001.  It took me a gruelling 14 months, but I managed to lose 60 pounds.  I became dissatisfied with the weight loss as my doctor wanted me to lose 90 pounds and the weight just was not coming off.  I would go to my meetings week after week and I know I was losing inches as my clothes were fitting well, but the scale was not moving.  Discouraged, I gave up. The second time, was in 2007 that I went back to Weight Watchers and managed to lose thirty pounds.  I worked out faithfully everyday, tracked everything I ate in a journal.  I was happy with how I felt and I came to the conclusion that I was never going to be really slim, but as long as I was healthy that was my main goal. After a while, I slipped into my old habits and eventually gained the weight back.  In December 2010, after gaining all of it back I started back at Weight Watchers for the third time with the inspiration from my doctor who was also attending meetings after the birth of her child.  It was nice to know doctors are real and they struggle just like the rest of us.  I really admired her, because she practices what she preaches. This time I have been attending meetings for 6 months and tonight I reached my 5%, which doesn't sound like a significant amount but hey, if I hadn't gone to meetings at all, I would have either gained or not lost at all. Weight loss for me is one of my biggest obstacles in life but I have realized that I have to accept the fact that I am only human and that I love to cook and I love to eat.  I have accepted that I will never be the slim person I once was because when I was slim, I didn't eat healthy.  Now,  I live a much healthier lifestyle, even though I'm overweight.  My blood pressure, blood sugar and cholestrol are at healthy levels and I can enjoy all that life has to offer so why stress about weight?  We only live once and I plan on keeping on this weight loss journey, but I am not going to beat myself up over every little bite.  I am going to do my best and give myself a hug.  I have realized that for me, if I am balanced in body, mind and spirit, I can achieve great things.  It is a struggle for me because of my circumstances and now that I am self aware of what I need to do to change my circumstances, the weight loss isn't going to be speedy.  Weight loss at my age now isn't about vanity, it is about getting healthy and having more energy and confidence and knowing that I can have more quality in my daily life. I can only do what I can do and I know that the people in my life that love me, love me for me.  They support me in the good times and the bad times.  Sure, I would like to be that slim girl that my husband met thirteen years ago, but it isn't going to happen.  My husband knows I struggle and he knows I try.  He loves me anyway.  I'm on a mission to get healthy and that's what I am striving for.  It is going to be a day at a time.  It's going to be baby steps....