Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I Love My Life...

Just having one of those reflective days and thinking of how lucky I am to have such a wonderful husband and soulmate.

Life wasn`t always full of bliss.  I got married at 18 years old the first time and I had dated my first husband for 4 years before that.  We had two beautiful kids that mean the world to me.  We were married for 19 years and then our marriage fell apart.  No, I don`t want to blame him, nor do I want to say mean and nasty things about my first marriage because there were good times and I will always love my first love.  I care about him but knew that it wasn`t a healthy relationship.  Life goes on even though I know first hand how difficult divorce is.  It is a death with the person still living.  It is the hardest thing to do and I always feel my children were victims.  But I also knew that it is crazy to stay together if a person knows that things are not going to change.

I met my second husband Rick when I was 36, I was recently separated from my first husband and was working two jobs.  I knew what I wanted and what I didn`t want, in a relationship and a marriage.   I had been rollerskating with the older kids and fell and broke my wrist badly.  So bad that I had to have it rebroken and pinned a week after I broke it.  I was off work for 3 weeks as I was a secretary and couldn`t type or work on a computer.  My neighbor was a single mom and told me that she had been doing some online dating and told me that I should try it.  I thought she was absolutely crazy!  The idea was scary to me and she urged me to try it.  As a silly, crazy woman I thought it was a big joke but said I would try it.  There were all kinds of messages of men that would tell their interests and a little about themselves.  Yes, there were the guys that wanted the perfect girl, with the perfect body and I thought there were a lot of shallow men out there.  One day as I was sitting alone and bored at home recovering with a broken wrist.   I listened to Rick`s message and it totally captivated me.  He was so sweet and sincere.  He had been single, never married, no children and was 34 years old.  He said he wasn`t looking for someone perfect because he wasn`t perfect either.  That really spoke to me.  A sincere guy that was humble and down-to-earth!  We agreed to meet at the Cheesecake Cafe in Calgary for a coffee.  I was petrified that it would be some serial killer or something.  Here I am going on a date for the first time in 20 years with a complete stranger!  I made sure he didn`t know where I lived or what I drove.  We had a great time talking and when it was time to go we had decided to go out again.

The second date was quite an ordeal too.  I had told my kids, Brandon was 13 at the time, and Shannon was 11, that I was going to dinner and a movie with a guy that I met and was a little nervous.  I was living in an apartment and I told the kids to keep their eyes out for a fellow in a black car, which looked like a Batmobile and memorize his license plate number just in case something went wrong when I was with him on our date.  He drove into the parking lot to my apartment and my son was in awe with Rick`s car.  It turned out to be a black Camaro.  Rick was very well mannered and opened the door for me and everything.  He was really sweet, handsome and a real gentleman.  Well as they say the rest was history. 

We got married in a private ceremony  in September of 1999 and had Clayton in October of 1999.  It hasn`t been an easy life as the step family dynamics was not an easy feat.  My older kids made it really difficult.  They were not happy that it wasn`t their dad.  Rick treated the kids so good and they treated him like crap.  I totally understand now why they were so angry.

We have been together for 11 years and Rick has been my best friend, my counsellor, and my soulmate.  He has shown me that there is healthy love and I couldn`t ask for a better person to share my life with.  We don`t have the most ideal situation, but we are committed and we make it work.  Maybe it is that we don`t take each other for granted and we aren`t together all the time that makes it work for us.  We cherish the time we get to spend together and we make a point of phoning and emailing each other every day.  He makes me laugh and he has given me so much love.  He spoils me in every way and it makes me want to spoil him too.  I thank God for him everyday and I really want to make this marriage successful.  Valentine`s Day is a very commercial day and I feel that two people should treat each other that good every day.  Not just on Valentine`s Day.

1 comment:

  1. What a sweet story, I hope you both had a wonderful Valentine's Day :)